Perhaps it was after my father’s death this May that I came to cherish each moment I have with my family. I have become a bit sensitive to my own memories such that when I was having a quiet dinner with my son -‘Just hanging around and having a pizza dinner’, that I found myself having a nostalgic moment. A young couple was having dinner right beside us and they had a child, less than a year old, in a stroller parked right beside us.
The sight of that baby coo-ing quietly to itself made me smile as I remembered how my son was at that age. My son gave me a”do’h” look as he devoured his pizza. With a happy pain in my heart I smiled as I realized how fast the years have flown! My baby is now a teen-ager and when the time is right, my life would have come full circle, when they themselves will go out and have dinner with their babies in strollers..like the one that I stared at. I hope and pray that I would still be around when that happens. 🙂
I remember how I whined when his diaper had to be changed, or food would splatter all over the floor [walls and drapes…]. How entranced I would be as I peeked constantly at night to see his face as he slept. There are still times when I find myself wishing to have that entire experience back, cherishing each second..each sight…each smell once more. But looking across the table at my son, laughing his laugh, talking endlessly how his day went at school and about this girl who wouldn’t leave him be…I realized that this stage is great too.
Yes, I still feel that tinge of regret for the time spent away while he was growing up, because of work…but I consoled myself with each moment spent, is worth it too.
I walked away after the meal, treasuring the past moments as my new memories, with an arm around each other, my son and I. I realized a few things as well.