This blog has been brewing in my mind for almost a year. I had ideas on how to go about it, but whenever I’d try to start, fear and uncertainty would just wrap itself around my brain; rendering it immobile and devoid of anything worth writing. I was voicing out these fears to an old friend of mine a few days back and in the middle of the conversation he just said:
“Dont fret, don’t force it. Other artists don’t create anything for years! Relax.”
But that’s just it! As an artist, I haven’t created anything in years! Yes I do draw, do sites, layout, color for clients; never for myself. I feel like I haven’t created anything I’d consider as art in years.
I could almost feel Gilbert’s exasperation as he cut my rant short.
“Stop worrying about being an ‘artist’. Just do!“
His words echoed inside my brain and I sat still as if I was slapped to silence.
Somewhere behind my conscious mind, I heard a switch and ideas started to trickle. Today I found the words to start writing again. By starting with this post, I feel that I just went through the hardest hurdle of them all; that is, the act of starting something. For a year, I’ve let myself get caught up in planning, designing and even coding this site again and again that I let it all get in the way of creation.
Yes, I’m scared to fail. I am scared that everything I write, draw or feature here could be used against me. I am no longer an anonymous blogger or a fake avatar spreading my thoughts across the net. This is me. This reflects who I am. Technically I am releasing parts of myself for other people to tweak, copy, experience and rant about to the greater world wide web.
I took the first step. It feels good. This may not be the perfect blog site, but it is a perfect start nonetheless.
And that’s all she wrote,